I've been putting this off

Warning: this post talks about cancer and death

Term 3

Immediately after travelling back to uni I needed to seriously get on with writing my family study essay as there was only 2 days until it was due in! I really struggled to work on it over the Easter break because I didn't have my own personal space where I could shut the world away and just get on with it. Thankfully, once I was back at uni I was able to shut myself away and get it typed up.

Lectures started the next day but they were only scheduled for 3 days before the Easter bank holiday weekend which, for some reason, started on Thursday for us.

I met my Dad in London for a couple of days to go sightseeing, and pushing him around in his wheelchair meant that we would have struggled with the tube, so we walked everywhere and saw some pretty cool things that we would have otherwise missed.

For those of you who don't follow this blog, my Dad was suffering from terminal cancer, so we ticked off his bucket list The Museum of London, M&M World, the Lego Store, China Town and The British Museum. It turned out to be his last weekend away as he began to deteriorate more rapidly after that.

Back at uni I rounded off the long weekend with brunch, shopping and a night out with the girls. 

Just over a week passed with classes as normal before Dad was admitted to hospital as his potassium level was too high. He was treated and monitored but I remained at university at the request of my Dad, and I waited until the weekend to travel home that weekend to see him. He was discharged on the Saturday and as it was another long weekend I still had a couple of days to spend with him at home watching movies and eating snacks.

It was back to uni for classes for 4 days before coming home again for the weekend. Dad took to his bed this weekend and we watched a lot of cooking TV whilst keeping him company. Dad asked me to go back to uni again so I went back for another 4 days, speaking to him every day to check on him, and coming home a day early on the Thursday evening. On the Friday I went to visit Dad and he wasn't doing so well. I stayed with him all day and into the night until 2am when my Mum sent me to have a sleep and she sat with him for a while and he passed away peacefully around 4.30am on the Saturday morning.

Obviously, I didn't travel back to uni after the weekend. Mum and I were executors of Dad's Will so we had a lot to do and my mind was a complete haze. University kindly allowed me to have 3 weeks off and an extension on my essay. They also sent me recordings of the lectures so I could watch them when I was ready.

The following weekend (another bank holiday!) we'd previously booked a trip to London for Dad to try again to take him to Warner Brothers Studio Tour, so my siblings and I took our step-brother instead as we knew Dad wanted us to go. A rainbow even peeked out between the clouds for us like Dad was looking down on us.

I spent the rest of the time at home dealing with Dad's finances, planning his funeral, writing an essay, and trying to vaguely keep up with lectures, all while trying to keep all my emotions together.

When I arrived back at uni my flatmates were waiting to give me loads of hugs and support me. I stayed off class the following day as I didn't feel up to going into the anatomy lab but I worked on lectures in my room, and returned to classes the next day.

My flatmates and friends kept me busy and motivated during revision season, and the exam seemed like it went okay, all things considered (spoiler alert: it did). After the exam I had a couple of days to pack up and put my things into storage before coming home, and I got medic married!

A couple of days after I arrived home it was time for Dad's funeral, which honestly was as nice as it could be.

It doesn't feel right to talk about the rest of my summer here, so I'll leave it for today and try to post some summer updates soon, as well as a photo of Dad's burial spot and his willow tree. I might even make a memorial post for Dad with lots of photos.

Thanks for reading,
Katherine x

2 weeks to go!

Reading Festival - There was no update last Monday due to a trip to Reading Festival with Dad and one of my sisters. We travelled on the Wednesday as my sister was working and had to be there by Wednesday evening. Dad and I spent a night in a travelodge to make the most of an extra night of comfort and a decent shower! We did an Aldi shop when we arrived to stock up for the weekend. Wednesday evening we ate at Benny's Diner, which was great. Thursday lunchtime we took at taxi to the festival and pitched our tent. Then walked to the on site supermarket to grab bottles of water and a few other supplies. Thursday evening we just chilled out. On Friday the music started. Favourites from the weekend were Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Mike Shinoda, Skindred, Sum 41, Waterparks, Creeper, Pendulum, The Regrettes, and David Morgan. We also went to the signings for Waterparks and Sum 41 which were great, and Dad really enjoyed them! On Monday we were packed up by around 10am and had to queue for a shuttle bus back to the train station, but we were there before 12. The earliest I've ever managed to arrive at the train station in 6 years at Reading Festival!! 

Dad Update - At Dad's oncology appointment last week we were told that his new CT scan shows that all of his tumours are shrinking with the chemotherapy, apart from one which is slightly more prominent, but could be down to a recent infection. This doesn't mean he will get better, but it is the best news we could hope for at this stage. He continued his chemotherapy, starting cycle 9, on Thursday.

Work - I've been working late into the evenings at the end of this week, which meant I felt like I barely had time to do anything other than work and sleep! 

Bank - I had two appointments with the bank this week to try and open my student account, but the first time my driving license had the wrong address on, and when the new one arrived, it wouldn't let us open it because it hadn't been 30 days, so I'll have to come back to that one next month.

DBS - Once my address was updated on my driving license I could finally get my DBS sorted, so I got up early on Saturday to get the bus into the city and do that.

New uni outfit - While we were in the city my sister treated me to a new outfit for uni, which I absolutely love!!

Farmer's Jam - This weekend I've spent most of my time at the local dry slope as they had a competition/little festival going on, and one of my friends was competing, so that was nice. Both of my sisters came with me on Saturday and Sunday, and I was pleased to see the little one developing a similar interest in sports. The sun shined all weekend, perhaps slightly too much, the competition was great, and my friend won a new pair of skis, so an all round good weekend.

Packing - After I got home from the slope on Sunday I sorted through a couple more boxes and, I don't want to jinx it but, I think I'm practically ready to move, which is good because the 16th is fast approaching and I have to work every weekday! 

Thanks for reading,

Katherine x

Dad's Secret Holiday!

14th January -
11 days post discharge

Dad's secret holiday was a holiday my family and I planned for us to go on with my Dad. The location was planned around a specific activity we wanted him to do. After he was discharged from hospital at the beginning of the year after his cancer diagnosis and major surgery he bought himself a sloth cuddly toy. He later informed me that sloths are his favourite animal, something I didn't know. He's gradually been accumulating a collection of sloth toys and pillows, and now t-shirts too! 

Sloths are pretty laid back animals and so I thought I would have a look online and see if there were any zoos in the UK that offered sloth holding or feeding experiences. I found one called Drusillas Park, which is sort of near Hastings in the South of England. And so Hastings became the holiday destination. 

I contacted the park about adopting a sloth for Dad and getting a plaque put up with his name on before we arrived, which was something they offered on their website. There are three sloths at Drusillas Park, Sophocles, Flash, and Gordon. We chose Flash for Dad to adopt as we thought he would find it funny that Flash is fast and sloths are so slow. 

Here's the adoption certificate and photo of Flash:

We started the adoption certificate from Father's Day, 17th June, but he wouldn't find that out until we arrived at the zoo.

The park also offered the sloth encounter experience we were looking for and as soon as the holiday dates were finalised we booked this too. 

For the holiday we chose to stay at a Haven Holiday Park simply because of the convenience of having things to do at the park so we didn't have to go out every day if Dad wasn't feeling up to it. 

We hadn't told Dad any of this, the only thing he knew was the dates. He told us later he thought we were going to Wales! 

Without further ado, here's the photos! The sloth experience was Tuesday if you just wanted to see that.

Saturday 21st July

Arriving in Hastings

On the train

Giant deck chair

Dad having his first alcoholic drink
since the surgery

The oncologist told him he couldn't ride a real motorbike
anymore... he was straight on this as soon as he saw it!

Sunday 22nd July 

Okay, so I had to borrow a photo from the Haven website to show you the waterslide they have at this park. Dad went down this slide, in swimshorts and a rash vest, and whizzed round the bowl three times! It was a pretty fast slide, I've been on one at another Haven site but this one was rougher and faster.

Image from Combe Haven

Dad at Party In The Dark

Mum and me at Party In The Dark

My sisters at Party In The Dark

Monday 23rd July

View from West Hill, Hastings

Hastings Castle

This stone was swapped from
a castle in Normandy, France

Smugglers Adventure, in the caves

Tuesday 24th July - The secret Sloth experience day!

Oddly enough, Dad had picked up a leaflet for Drusillas Park in the Haven reception and said he'd like to go, he likes zoos. We brushed it off and said if we have time we can go later in the week. So, when we rocked up at Drusillas on Tuesday morning he was already pleased. I spoke to the reception while he was in the loo so he couldn't overhear anything. 

The sloths aren't far into the zoo, still inside the building which houses the main entrance, but typical Dad walked right past them! We called him back and said did you see the sloths? So then he came over and we showed him the plaque with his name on and we pulled the adoption pack out of my brothers backpack and gave him the certificate and photo. 

The enclosure information

The adoption plaque

After a while of looking at the sloths we carried on around the zoo. His encounter wasn't until 3pm so we had to keep him busy until then (he still knows nothing about it). Later on in the zoo there's a walkthrough area (where the animal encounters take place) and one of the sloths is there. Dad spent ages looking at him and taking photos, while the rest of us were grinning at each other because we just know he's going to love his feeding experience. We finished looking at the animals and had some lunch, and around 2.30pm we started heading back towards the entrance/exit, to the visitor centre. The park has some other things to do as well as the zoo and Dad was trying to look and getting stroppy because he didn't know why we were rushing him! We managed to get him to the visitor centre just in time and then we handed him his sloth experience pack and when he realised what he's doing he got really excited. First the keeper took Dad and me to the kitchens where he showed us all the food stores, explained the animals diets, and picked up the food for the encounter. He asked us if it's a birthday surprise, and Dad openly told him he's very poorly, I gently explained it's a bucket list surprise, and we kept chatting so it didn't get depressing. Dad was very interested in the foods, and asked lots of questions! We even went inside the walk in freezer! It was lovely on such a hot day! Then we headed out to the encounter walkthrough.

Dad with the food

Dad feeding Sophocles

Dad feeding Sophocles

The keeper called Sophocles down from his box, it took a while but eventually he came down for some food. Dad could put the food in his mouth, or in his "hand", and he did both. Some vegetables Sophocles didn't like and he would drop them on the floor. Dad was chatting away to him and really enjoying himself. One of my sisters was also in there taking photos. My brother went in too but I don't have a photo of that. Dad also got to touch Sophocles' head and he fed a fruit bat as they were also in the enclosure. One of the fruit bats even climbed over Sophocles and stole a piece of food right out of his mouth! We learned the Sophocles is the Dad of Flash and Gordon, and that Flash had to be hand reared because her Mum died after birth. The zoo are hoping to find a new partner for Sophocles. The keeper let Dad have over his 30 minutes that the encounters usually last, and then he offered to let Dad go inside the sloth tank and feed Flash as she's the one he adopted. So we went back to the main sloth tank near the entrance and collected the bucket of food for Flash and Gordon, and Dad and one of my sisters climbed inside the tank. It was very hot inside, but Dad got to feed them both and Flash even came out of her box to get more food from Dad after Gordon dropped his own piece and stole Flash's piece out of her hand! Dad touched Flash on the head once but had to be careful because she's got quite a feisty personality. By the time Dad had fed these sloths too his encounter had been over an hour long, and the keeper was perfectly happy for him to take as long as he wanted, but he needed the loo! I couldn't thank the keeper enough for the experience he gave Dad, he went above and beyond for him and it really meant a lot to us. Here's a link to Drusillas Park if you're interested in going or seeing what other animal experiences they have. One of the keepers told us that the Beaver Experience isn't very popular, and I felt sad for the beavers, so if you love Beavers go give it a look!

Dad inside the tank

Flash sitting in a basket

Dad feeding Flash

Wednesday 25th July

The view from East Hill

East Hill has the steepest Funicular Railway in the UK and I can safely say it felt pretty hairy going up there. Thankfully the way down wasn't so bad! We also went to Blue Reef Aquarium and the Fishermen's Museum before heading back towards the park on a miniature railway. 

My brother and sister racked up
16,000 tickets in the arcade by
Thursday to buy this drone!
Safe to say they're all over the
Space Invaders leaderboard

Thursday 26th July

I didn't leave the park on Thursday. In the morning we did a Pirate Treasure Hunt, and then we went swimming. I spent the rest of the day relaxing. Dad and my brother went into Hastings to go antique, and army surplus, shopping. Mum, Glenn and my two sisters went to the beach. 

Mum having a water fight with my littlest sister

Friday 27th July

Battle Abbey - Built on the site of
The Battle of Hastings

Riding into Battle

Thanks for reading!

Katherine